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Title: Just a Tool Author: EIRI-CHICK (-_-)=~ Pairing: Tohma X… - Pulling Everyone Down with Them
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May 2007

EIRI-CHICK posting in Pulling Everyone Down with Them
User: gravi_fuh_q (posted by pikachu_goddess)
Date: 2007-02-02 03:57
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Tags:crack, tohma
Title: Just a Tool
Author: EIRI-CHICK (-_-)=~
Pairing: Tohma X “crack pairing…can you guess what before the end?”
Description: One-sided love hurts, especially if you are just being used.
Category: Fanfiction
Subcategory: Romance
Rating: 16+ for slight sexual innuendo
Disclaimer: If Gravitation was mine you all would SO drool!

The concert has just ended. The sweat, lingering proof of all the hard work he had just put into this show, has yet to dry on his body; the sheen is still visible on his pale flesh. The curtains are closed but I can still hear the rumble of the crowd as the last few depart the concert hall. A few drunken yells still manage to find their way through the thick canvas as the newly formed band, oddly named Nittle Grasper exits the small stage, still high from the encore.

He slowly walks toward me with that elegant yet confident pace that he always has right after we finish work. He is so superb, a pale god with a halo of gold, topped by his ever-present hat, that I cannot move as he approaches.

I glitter and try to catch his eye, but he’s busy directing a stagehand as to how to best pack a piece of equipment, so I settle on gazing at his loveliness from afar.


I belonged to him alone at first. He used to caress my side as we worked together, his lips so close to me I could feel his breath, tonight smelling of peppermint and lemons. He filled my nights, my days, my every waking moment. How our lives would be if we could ever be together…truly together. I used to dream about him, his full lips kissing me, his tongue caressing me. I wanted him to kiss me, to lick me, to take me in…to possess me.

Even though others used me, I wanted to be his and his only. Something about him captivated me, so no matter who else I was with, I still felt like I was his. I still belonged to him, heart and soul. I wanted to be with him, forever. But I knew it was an impossible fantasy.

To him I was just a tool, something to be used, then put away. It hurt me at first, to be thought of like that. But then I began to seriously think about us. After all, what kind of relationship could we have? We could never be together, not the way I wanted. He only sees me as an object, something he can use. And why shouldn’t he? He’s an up-an-coming star and I’m only here for his use. I am just his tool.

…just a tool.

I love him nonetheless. I love him with my entire being, so much that to be separated from him physically hurts. Still, whenever we’re together I see the light of joy return to his face, and I know that it’s worth it.

Now we once again make beautiful music. When he sings with me, he glows. Its how I know he values me. That he needs me. That he realizes how upset he would be without me. How he couldn’t be himself without me. How much…dare I say it? How much he loves me.

And because of that, I am his forever.


As she gestured for him to hurry, Noriko yelled, “Hurry up! I want to have a few drinks before the bar closes!”

“I’m coming Noriko, just let me get my bag!” Tohma tells her as she takes Ryuichi by the arm and exits the door of the dressing room. Hurrying so that he can catch up with the rest of Nittle Grasper, Tohma does a final check in the mirror, making sure his hat is just so before he meets up with his band mates, and as he starts to leave, he catches sight of something glittering on the dressing room table. He furrows his brow, not sure why it has been left there instead of put away with the rest of the equipment. Picking up the object from the dressing room table, he examines it once more.

Why Ryuichi keeps insisting that this thing is meant for him is beyond his comprehension as he eyes it, wondering.

He inspects the newly repaired microphone that was his birthday gift from Ryuichi nearly a year ago, searching for any signs of damage as he checks where the cord fits into the base. The glittery silver head seems to wink at him as he thoroughly inspects it for any signs of breakage from tonight’s concert.

Shouldering his personal bag, he places it inside and exits the dressing room.

A/N: In case anyone was wondering, the thing talking was the microphone. Maybe it was too subtle for many people to get...Idunno.

YAY! I'm forgiven for yahoo being a butt and not letting me access this until an hour or so ago!

As always, I once again thank my wonderful beta, KageOtogi, my OTB (One True Beta!)

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